Sexual Enhancement For Women
Orgasms are rarely talked about in medicine and this is ironic because we know that having a healthy sex life is associated with better overall health.
Some women may have higher sex drives than others and there is some controversy as to whether it is “normal” and “natural” or not to have a low sex drive. Basically, the cause may be in part genetic. However, your genes are influenced heavily by the environment. For example, hormonal contraceptives (like birth control pills) can cause severe long lasting hormonal problems that greatly reduce libido. Not all women experience this but the women who do can still have low libido due to hormonal problems even after discontinuing the pill.
“Sexual activity, quality of sexual life, and interest in sex were positively associated with health in middle age and later life. Sexually active life expectancy was longer for men, but men lost more years of sexually active life as a result of poor health than women.”1
It is certainly possible that some women may just “naturally” have lower libidos but the research shows that more frequent and more fulfilling sex is linked to better health as we age. Part of this is due to our ability to manage stress. The difference between men and women in terms of how we deal with stress is very interesting. When men are stressed they want to have more sex because it helps them reduce their stress hormone levels. Women on the other hand, when stressed, are unable to concentrate on sex and prefer to focus on the house and family, etc.
Low Libido In Women
Loss of libido or low libido in women is usually due to multiple factors. Age is not necessarily always the cause of this in women and it is important to have a holistic approach. Loss of sex drive can be due to:
- your personal habits,
- your attitude towards life, sex, yourself, and your partner,
- relationship problems, such as holding resentment,
- stress and emotional stress,
- hormone deficiencies and hormonal imbalances, and
- certain physical problems like infections and skin diseases that cause pain.
Unsatisfying Orgasms or Lack of Orgasms In Women
About 10-15% of women in the United States have never experienced an orgasm. Over half of American women use a vibrator and between 33% and 50% are dissatisfied with the number of orgasms they feel. Interestingly, women can give themselves an orgasm in 4 minutes on average by masturbating but with their partner it take 10-20 minutes.
Personal Habits For Libido Enhancement
In order to deal with stress and have the energy to even consider sex you need a foundation of health personal habits including good food choices, proper exercise (not the “cardio” you probably are trying to do), and healthy ways of dealing with stress.
Personal Attitudes & Emotional Health
Your personal attitude towards sex and your mental health can have an impact on your sexual health. Being able to be present in the moment (mindfulness) and focus on your senses is very important for a healthy sex life. For example, thinking about that you need to get at the grocery store while having foreplay can make it very difficult to get sexually aroused. Certainly, arousal does not equal desire but being in the moment can reduce your stress levels and that can be quite helpful.
Novelty is important for sexual desire and finding new ways to make sex exciting for you and your partner is important. Also, seeing yourself as a sexual goddess can be helpful, or at least feeling sexy about yourself and having a positive body image. Just FYI, most guys like a plumpness around the hips so if you can 5-10 lbs. realize its less important to your man than you probably think.
Lifestyle For a Healthy Libido
Being able to manage stress is essential to maintaining and enhancing your libido. Getting enough sleep is important as well as this well help with stress management. Good sleep will also help give you enough energy to even consider having sex.
In general, most women need 6-8 hours of sleep per night. This is known to help improve your mood and memory. Your hormone levels will also become more balanced with adequate sleep. Your stress hormone levels of cortisol will be improved when you get enough sleep. This has the additional benefit of helping to reduce excess body fat because cortisol effects your blood sugar levels.
Again, diet is very important as diabetes and blood sugar problems with effect your sex drive and stress management ability. Your hormone levels will be effected by eating too much sugar and too little protein and vegetables. Vitamins and minerals in your food are co-factors need for cellular function in every cell in your body.
Oxytocin & Sexual Arousal & Orgasm
Oxytocin is a natural hormone that your body makes when you are aroused or have an orgasm. Oxytocin levels also increase when you make eye contact with someone or touch someone. All the activities have one important thing in common: human bonding. Oxytocin is the cuddle hormone and has a profound impact on your mood and sexual desire level. Oxytocin also helps reduce stress and anxiety by reducing your cortisol levels.
Women who take oral contraceptive pills (birth control pills) will have disrupted oxytocin levels. In addition, birth control pills can greatly decrease testosterone levels further reducing libido and your ability to orgasm. Certainly birth control pills don’t do this in every woman or they would sell much less but for women who started experiencing problems after beginning birth control this is a likely explanation.
Thierry Hertoghe, MD discusses oxytocin and how to use oxytocin to enhance your sex life and mood.
Is there a female version of Viagra®?
Yes with a caveat. Women are little more complicated than men. Viagra® is designed to improve blood flow and has been shown to help improve lubrication of the vagina. This can give a false sense of desire but because women are more complicated the results with the use of this kind of medication alone are generally poor.
Oxytocin and other sexual enhancing medications that improve hormone receptor activity in the brain can greatly improve results when taken under the tongue in advance. These medications can be directly absorbed under your tongue and be active in your body within minutes. In addition to enhancing your sexual desire immediately they can also improve the chances you will have a more intense orgasm and possibly multiple orgasms.
Treating The Cause & Do No Harm
Femme Clinique physicians are committed to helping you find the cause of your health problem. If you are experiencing pain during sex we will help you determine the cause and refer you to other specialists as needed. The main cause of pain during sex is hormonal deficiencies of estrogen and testosterone. However, in women with skin diseases it is important to rule out any conditions that may increase your risk of cancer. Many doctors are unable to diagnose these conditions due to their lack of training and openness to discuss these issues.
References on next page
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